Comedian Daniel Kalwhite Calls In — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 3

Thank God this lifelong New York Giants fan managed to call in after one of those rare Redskins wins over his squad in their house.

Thank God this lifelong New York Giants fan managed to call in after one of those rare Redskins wins over his squad in their house.

Comedian Daniel Kalwhite is a funny dude who was kind enough to call in and talk week three football, especially the loss of his beloved New York Giants to the Washington Redskins. He’s a great guy, killed on the show, and we can’t wait to have him back. In the meantime, give him a follow here on Twitter and a listen below.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Bill Belichick Could Line Up At Center And Win — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 3

The more he wins without Brady, the less I hate him.

The more he wins without Brady, the less I hate him.

It was a more-anarchic week than most in the NFL this week: Bill Belichick, with the aid of a third-string quaterback, crushed a surging Houston Texans. The Arizona Cardinals were decimated by Rex Ryan’s Buffalo Bills, and the Philadelphia Eagles, sporting a first-year coach and quarterback, dismembered a tremendous Pittsburgh Steelers squad. We break it all down in our typically insightful and funny fashion.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Rex Ryan Is A Disaster — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 2

Rex Ryan, seen here in his fat, victorious days sporting an unscarred Frank Beamer neck pouch.

Rex Ryan, seen here in his fat, victorious days sporting an unscarred Frank Beamer neck pouch.

I’m a Washington Redskins fan, born and raised. So I know dumpster fires. And in Buffalo, the Bills have a dumpster fire burning. Rex Ryan is a coach whose time in the NFL has come to a close. It was all fun and games when his mouth was full of toes and Sanchez was taking them to the AFC Championship two years in a row. Sadly, those days are long gone. We also dissect the rest of the week’s news, including the fact that Teddy Bridgewater and Adrian Peterson might have played their last games as Vikings.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

RG3 Getting Divorced, Disintegrated — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 1

"I am sitting next to you thinking about how I plan to leave you and the fetus gestating inside you. And you don't even know it. Haha!"

“I am sitting next to you thinking about how I plan to leave you and the fetus gestating inside you. And you don’t even know it. Haha!”

Redskins fans are very well versed in the highs and lows of RG3 and all he brings to the table. And yet, as I watched his Browns debut, I found myself angry all over again. The unnecessary hit taking. The constant completions for one yard gains. It was all so familiar. And, of course, who can forget RG3’s possible Browns finale, not even 60 minutes in to his debut?

Brian Bolte and I talk about RG3’s debut and pending divorce, Bill Belichick not getting enough credit as someone who can make any quarterback good (well, except maybe the guy this episode is about), and how the league’s rookie QBs looked in their debuts this week. It’s a great new Papa’s Football Podcast, and if you like comedy, please share it on Twitter, Facebook and whatever other social media services are out there that I’m not even aware of because I’m 35 and can only handle so much now.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Geno Bisconte Talks NFL Week 1 On Papa’s Football Podcast

I was making the same face as Geno for the majority of last night's Redskins game.

I was making the same face as Geno for the majority of last night’s Redskins game.

Geno Bisconte is an incredibly talented comedian who is also a football (and gambling) addict, making him a perfect match for Papa’s Football Podcast. He was kind enough to call in to the show and bemoan life as a San Diego Chargers fan (a jinxed mush of a team that managed to debut in mid-season disappointment form by pissing away a three-score lead over the Kansas City Chiefs in their season opener) and also give his take on the Philadelphia Eagles game, which he caught live. If you like sardonic humor and love a team that lives to shit on your heart like it was a girl in a German porno, then Geno is your man. Check out his weekly “Geno’s Picks” football segment at his site, GenoBisconte.com, and please say hello to him on Twitter (@GenoBisconte).

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Peyton Manning Kisses Papa John, Wins Super Bowl

I haven't been this skeeved out during a Super Bowl win since Mark Rypien celebrated his victory by tugging off Colonel Sanders.

I haven’t been this skeeved out during a Super Bowl win since Mark Rypien celebrated his victory by tugging off Colonel Sanders.

Super Bowl 50 is in the books, and shit, there was a lot to debate. Was it a bore or a defensive masterpiece? Should Peyton Manning retire or be a selfish asshole and not retire? Is Cam Newton the biggest target of white ire since OJ? Would you rather have watched your family get torn apart by wild dogs than sit through Coldplay’s halftime abortion? It’s a good show. If you watched the Super Bowl and know one shred about the game, you’ll have fun listening. If you don’t match any of that criteria, well, this is usually the part in the episode description where I call into question your sexuality, sense of national pride and/or intellectual capacity. Just click so we’re cool, man.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Aaron Rodgers Is The King Of The Hail Mary

aaron rodgers steve carell

Yes, they lost. But damn if the Green Bay Packers – Arizona Cardinals game wasn’t an all-time great. Listen to us talk the entire Divisional Round, pray that Peyton Manning doesn’t die next week, and have a conversation like you and your friends would about football. No, that doesn’t mean we get drunk and ramble like every other podcast out there. But we sure do swear a bunch.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Lovie Smith Fired, College Football Screws Up Its NYE Playoffs

Lovie Smith Fired

Just kidding, Lovie got fired a few hours after we recorded this. But we were able to talk about the bloodbath that is Black Monday, including the firings of Jim Tomsula, Tom Coughlin and Mike Pettine. Between that, some (admittedly cursory, but hopefully humorous) playoff analysis, we have the NFL side of things covered.

The first half of the show actually dives into what a colossal fuckup college football had on its hands with an attempt to shoehorn its two playoff games into New Year’s Eve. Ratings stank, everyone hated it, and now everyone is hoping that it doesn’t happen again. Oh, and I mock the millions of bowls because, let’s admit it, there are about 50 too man and they all have ghoulishly commercial names that impart literally zero emotion upon anyone. (Please let’s just cut to the chase and get to the Bang Bros Bowl sooner than later.)

Did I mention we saved the best for last? Because we did. In the show’s last five minutes, two straight (I swear all those websites were from someone else using my computer) men and one straight woman pick which NFL player’s penis they would be most fascinated to see. Fuck ESPN, you won’t see that shit after MNF anytime soon.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Peyton Manning HGH / Chip Kelly Fired

Chip Kelly, onetime Oregon coach and full-time Auric Goldfinger lookalike, has been fired by the Philadelphia Eagles.

Chip Kelly, onetime Oregon coach and full-time Auric Goldfinger lookalike, has been fired by the Philadelphia Eagles.

Chip Kelly, former Oregon Ducks coach, is now the former Philadelphia Eagles coach, relieved of his duties by owner Jeff Lurie right before week 16 in what can only be seen as a massive fuck you move. Is this good news or bad news for the rest of the NFC East (a division owned, at least for the year, by YOUR Washington Redskins)?

Also, Peyton Manning, the famed backup quarterback of the Denver Broncos, was the biggest name in an Al Jazeera that alleges several players in the NFL were using HGH. Al Jazeera seems to have quickly recanted, but when you get right down to it, what the hell else explains that forehead? I love Peyton Effin’ Manning until the end and, frankly, don’t give two shits if he used or not, but someone owns us an explanation for that cranium.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Oh Peyton! My Peyton!

There is nothing more terrifying than this image which, of course, makes it an Internet darling.

There is nothing more terrifying than this image which, of course, makes it an Internet darling.

This episode was a bit of a no-time-for-love-Doctor-Jones affair, meaning we banged out three topics that were near and dear to my heart this week in the NFL:

–Whose disastrous season is more of a shock to you, the Baltimore Ravens’ or Peyton Manning’s?
–Sammy Watkins shitting all over people that shat on him. (Via social media. He wasn’t channeling his inner Danny Thomas. Sadly.)
–Why 9:30 am games are awesome for we East Coasters.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!