The Kirk Cousins Dream Is Dead — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 4

michael biehn commander andrson the rock

You remember how The Rock begins with Michael Biehn and the SEAL Team he leads attempting to save the day by entering Alcatraz to stop Ed Harris and his team of rogue soldiers, only to be ambushed and slaughtered? And how, ultimately, its two unexpected, scrappy heroes, Sean Connery and Nic Cage that come through in the clutch when the big guns in front of them failed? The Redskins’ season is kinda like that, with RG3 playing the part of the SEAL Team and Kirk Cousins as the scrappy duo who somehow gets it done. Except, in this analogy, Sean Connery and Nic Cage also get riddled with bullets by Ed Harris 90 seconds after the SEAL Team’s brains are splattered on the walls and the powers that be are left wondering, “Well, Christ…is there a pizza boy we can send in there or something?”

Besides the age-old tale of another horrific prime time Redskins loss, there’s Steve Smith sticking it to his former Carolina Panthers team, the Miami Dolphins ending the Raiders coach portion of Dennis Allen’s career, J.J. Watt being an unstoppable god of defensive destruction and why the wheels might finally be coming off for Nick Foles, Chip Kelly and the rest of the ringless filthbirds of Philadelphia. All that, some gloating from our resident New York Giants fan @OriginalNixster and a preview of what’s to come in week four on the latest Papa’s Football Podcast.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

NFL Power Rankings Week 4: PFPod’s “Playoff Projector”

After 3 weeks of football, only three undefeated NFL teams remain. The big story in our Power Rankings are the disappearance of the Packers, 49ers, and Saints from the playoff picture. Don’t despair—we expect all three of these 1-2 teams to climb back into our Top 12 as soon as next week. Seriously, will 12 NFL teams finish September with winning records? With only 16 teams sitting at 2-1 or better, we’re taking the Under on that bet…

Top 4: Bye-week Bound

1. Cincinnati Bengals
2. Arizona Cardinals
3. Philadelphia Eagles
4. Denver Broncos

Despite losing at Seattle, Denver’s impressed us with their 4th quarter comeback to force overtime against their Super Bowl foe. Unfortunately for Seattle, even though the Seahawks proved they are a better team than the Broncos, the Cardinals still own first place in the NFC West. We can’t wait for Arizona’s Week 12 road trip to Seattle.

Wild Card Weekenders

5. San Diego Chargers
6. Seattle Seahawks
7. Chicago Bears
8. Baltimore Ravens
9. Atlanta Falcons
10. Carolina Panthers
11. New England Patriots
12. Houston Texans

The Patriots climb into our Top 12 for the first time this season on the strength of a weak win over the Raiders. We fully expect the Jets to challenge the Patriots atop the lowly AFC East.

As for the Bears’ team that beat the Jets on Monday night, they have a huge opportunity to jump ahead in the NFC North when they host the Packers on Sunday. Once again, Green Bay and Chicago promise to give us another exciting high stakes matchup #GameOfTheWeek

Kirk Cousins Is Dreamier Than Ryan Gosling — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 3

Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Non-injury-prone quarterbacks that effectively pass from the pocket.

Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what’s my weakness? Non-injury-prone quarterbacks that effectively pass from the pocket.

(If you prefer watching this episode as a video rather than listening to it as a podcast, click here to view it on YouTube.)

Yes, they lost. Yes, he threw an interception. Yes, it was only one game. But if you are a Washington Redskins fan, you had to love what you saw out of quarterback Kirk Cousins in Philadelphia on Sunday. We discuss what to expect from Kirk in his week 4 game at home against the Giants, how Denver also looked great even in defeat against the Seahawks, and why Tampa Bay could go winless this season in the latest Papa’s Football Podcast. If you like your football talk honest, raw and very dirty, you’re gonna love this episode.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

NFL Power Rankings Week 3: PFPod’s “Playoff Projector”

With two games under our belt, it’s hardly the time for any team to panic or celebrate. Only seven teams are 2-0, leaving Power Ranking pundits speculating which 1-1 teams are the elitest of the bunch. Weeks like this I’m relieved we cut off our list at 12 slots.

Top 4: Bye-week Bound(for now)

1. Denver Broncos
2. Cincinnati Bengals
3. Carolina Panthers
4. Arizona Cardinals

Our surprise pick in the Top 4 is Arizona. True, the Cards did not make playoffs in 2013, whereas the 2-0 Eagles are defending divisional champs. The Eagles’ two comeback victories to start the season, however, were built on the heels of two woeful 1st half performances. Sophomore HC Chip Kelly has yet to prove that his offense can sustain four quarters of success in a so-called “league of adjustments.” We expect to find out by the end of the regular season whether Kelly is a pro football genius or a leading candidate to replace Will Muschamp down at Florida University (not to be confused with FAU or FIU, the Gators will always be “FU” in my book).

Wild Card Weekenders

5. Philadelphia Eagles
6. San Diego Chargers
7. Buffalo Bills
8. Seattle Seahawks
9. Houston Texans
10. Chicago Bears
11. Green Bay Packers
12. Baltimore Ravens

The Chargers made the biggest jump of the young season with an impressive win over the Seahawks. We remain unimpressed with the Texans’ two victories, though, admittedly, Green Bay’s bare win over the Jets at Lambeau was even less inspiring.

Let us know what you think of our Power Rankings format. And feel free to tell us what we got wrong this week.

Adrian Peterson Beats His Son (Oh, And Week 2 Of The NFL Happened) — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 2

I tried to find a photo of the episode where Homer takes a switch and uses it to beat Bart's testicles, but this was the best I could come up with.

I tried to find a photo of the episode where Homer takes a switch and uses it to beat Bart’s testicles, but this was the best I could come up with.

Someday soon, our shows will be totally devoid of off-the-field drama. That day, however, is not today. We touch on the story of a felony arrest for Vikings start RB Adrian Peterson for child abuse (he apparently took a switch and beat the holy hell out of his kid’s testicles and ass with it) before getting into Week 2’s biggest stories (Seattle going down to San Diego and Richard Sherman being a little bitch about it, for example) and what Week 3’s sexiest games are going to be. Plus Buffalo Bills superfan “Nate” lets us know what it’s like having a shred of hope up in that frozen hellhole with the team currently at 2-0 and atop the AFC East. If you like your sports talk fun, fast and dirty, then like and share the episode! (Oh, and click here if you want to hear me talk for an hour about AP’s ball beating.)

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher app!

Power Rankings Week 2: PFPod’s Playoff Projector

PFPod.com produce the only Power Rankings that matter in Football.  Seriously. We rank the Top 12 teams that deserve to be in the playoffs based on their CURRENT record.  Who cares if Tom Brady won three Super Bowls a decade ago?  The Patriots are still winless, folks!

Heading into Week 2, only 16 teams have winning records.  The top 8 division winners and our four favorite “wild card” teams are:

Top 4.

1. Seattle Seahawks
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Denver Broncos
4. Cincinnati Bengals

Seattle picked up right where they left off last season. Denver, on the other hand, looked like a team that misses Eric Decker, Wes Welker and Knowshon Moreno… are we in store for another early Bronco exit from the playoffs (#MileHighMiracle)?  Our surprise pick in the bye-week bracket is Atlanta– last season’s biggest disappointment saw a revitalized offense led by a record setting performance by Matt Ryan (who is a dead ringer for porn star Peter North).

5. San Francisco 49ers
6. Carolina Panthers
7. Pittsburgh Steelers
8. Miami Dolphins
9. Minnesota Vikings
10.Tennessee TItans
11. Philadelphia Eagles
12. New York Jets

NFC Wild Card Contenders top the list of our remaining eight playoff slot projections. Sadly, the 49ers still look like they could be the 2nd best team in the NFC, but are going to be relegated to a road game on Wild Card Weekend as long as Marshawn Lynch stays in Beast Mode.

In case you were wondering, Miami is not as impressive as its victory over New England might have been. The Pats had the 3rd worst run defense in 2013, so Lamar Miller and Knowshon Moreno’s combined 35 carries for 193 yards were not a surprise. Just keep in mind that the ‘Fins have yet to play the Jets, whose run defense last season produced one of the most dominant in NFL history.  Don’t be shocked if Geno and the Jets sweep Miami this season.

The NFL Season Begins! (And Gets Overshadowed By the Ray Rice Video) — Papa’s Football Podcast, Week 1

If you missed TMZ's video of Ray Rice smashing his woman's jaw, this is about what it looked like.

If you missed TMZ’s video of Ray Rice smashing his woman’s jaw, this is about what it looked like.

The 2014 NFL regular season began with much fanfare…that was immediately obliterated by TMZ releasing a video of Ray Rice decking his chick with the speed of Floyd Mayweather. If you want to hear discussion of the video, you can click here for that, but we keep the football show about on-the-field football talk, so this episode will delve into what games we loved from the weekend, what we’re looking forward to this week, and get thoughts from Cleveland Browns superfan Josh Burns on the first of our “Fan In Focus” segments.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher app!

The NFL Is Back! — Papa’s Football Podcast Week 0

It's been far, far too long, my love. (I'll leave you to guess whether it's the me or the NFL that plays Rachel McAdams in this little scenario.)

It’s been far, far too long, my love. (I’ll leave you to guess whether it’s the me or the NFL that plays Rachel McAdams in this little scenario.)

(You can also watch this episode on YouTube by clicking here.)

Tonight, life will have meaning once more. Not even The Fappening could distract NFL fiends from their all-consuming need to have the game of (concussed) kings back in their lives. There’s a lot of ground to cover in 60 minutes after an entire season off, but we manage to get in all the greatest hits: The Ray Rice beating his then-fiancee unconscious, Wes Welker getting suspended for taking Molly cut with amphetamines at the Kentucky Derby, the entire Michael Sam saga that just landed him with the Dallas Cowboys and Don Van Natta, Jr’s excellent article on Jerry Jones. There’s also a preview of this week’s action. If you like football and you like bad words, this is the show for you.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher app.

Hall of Fame Podcast (RB Edition): Jerome Bettis and the Ricky Williams’ Line

Listen to Howard’s first ever solo podcast. He talks about Jerome Bettis’ place among the greatest running back of all-time, and the reason why Ricky Williams’ career numbers should be the measuring stick for other NFL running backs who become eligible for Hall of Fame in the coming years.

Michael Sam Comes Out On Papa’s Basement (Not Really)

Michael Scott sounds similar enough to Michael Sam that this is okay.

Michael Scott sounds similar enough to Michael Sam that this is okay.

Normally I link the Papa’s Football Podcast posts over on Papa’s Basement to give PFPod a bit of a boost. This time, the shoe is on the other foot as I spent a ton of time yapping with my radio mentor and friend Bill Rohland (click that link to see his Twitter profile and give it a follow) about Michael Sam, the SEC defensive player of the year, coming out as gay before the NFL draft. Click here to go to the episode’s post on Papa’s Basement, where you can give it a listen. Enjoy!