You remember how The Rock begins with Michael Biehn and the SEAL Team he leads attempting to save the day by entering Alcatraz to stop Ed Harris and his team of rogue soldiers, only to be ambushed and slaughtered? And how, ultimately, its two unexpected, scrappy heroes, Sean Connery and Nic Cage that come through in the clutch when the big guns in front of them failed? The Redskins’ season is kinda like that, with RG3 playing the part of the SEAL Team and Kirk Cousins as the scrappy duo who somehow gets it done. Except, in this analogy, Sean Connery and Nic Cage also get riddled with bullets by Ed Harris 90 seconds after the SEAL Team’s brains are splattered on the walls and the powers that be are left wondering, “Well, Christ…is there a pizza boy we can send in there or something?”

Besides the age-old tale of another horrific prime time Redskins loss, there’s Steve Smith sticking it to his former Carolina Panthers team, the Miami Dolphins ending the Raiders coach portion of Dennis Allen’s career, J.J. Watt being an unstoppable god of defensive destruction and why the wheels might finally be coming off for Nick Foles, Chip Kelly and the rest of the ringless filthbirds of Philadelphia. All that, some gloating from our resident New York Giants fan @OriginalNixster and a preview of what’s to come in week four on the latest Papa’s Football Podcast.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

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Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what’s my weakness? Non-injury-prone quarterbacks that effectively pass from the pocket.

(If you prefer watching this episode as a video rather than listening to it as a podcast, click here to view it on YouTube.)

Yes, they lost. Yes, he threw an interception. Yes, it was only one game. But if you are a Washington Redskins fan, you had to love what you saw out of quarterback Kirk Cousins in Philadelphia on Sunday. We discuss what to expect from Kirk in his week 4 game at home against the Giants, how Denver also looked great even in defeat against the Seahawks, and why Tampa Bay could go winless this season in the latest Papa’s Football Podcast. If you like your football talk honest, raw and very dirty, you’re gonna love this episode.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

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I tried to find a photo of the episode where Homer takes a switch and uses it to beat Bart’s testicles, but this was the best I could come up with.

Someday soon, our shows will be totally devoid of off-the-field drama. That day, however, is not today. We touch on the story of a felony arrest for Vikings start RB Adrian Peterson for child abuse (he apparently took a switch and beat the holy hell out of his kid’s testicles and ass with it) before getting into Week 2’s biggest stories (Seattle going down to San Diego and Richard Sherman being a little bitch about it, for example) and what Week 3’s sexiest games are going to be. Plus Buffalo Bills superfan “Nate” lets us know what it’s like having a shred of hope up in that frozen hellhole with the team currently at 2-0 and atop the AFC East. If you like your sports talk fun, fast and dirty, then like and share the episode! (Oh, and click here if you want to hear me talk for an hour about AP’s ball beating.)

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher app!

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If you missed TMZ’s video of Ray Rice smashing his woman’s jaw, this is about what it looked like.

The 2014 NFL regular season began with much fanfare…that was immediately obliterated by TMZ releasing a video of Ray Rice decking his chick with the speed of Floyd Mayweather. If you want to hear discussion of the video, you can click here for that, but we keep the football show about on-the-field football talk, so this episode will delve into what games we loved from the weekend, what we’re looking forward to this week, and get thoughts from Cleveland Browns superfan Josh Burns on the first of our “Fan In Focus” segments.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher app!

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It’s been far, far too long, my love. (I’ll leave you to guess whether it’s the me or the NFL that plays Rachel McAdams in this little scenario.)

(You can also watch this episode on YouTube by clicking here.)

Tonight, life will have meaning once more. Not even The Fappening could distract NFL fiends from their all-consuming need to have the game of (concussed) kings back in their lives. There’s a lot of ground to cover in 60 minutes after an entire season off, but we manage to get in all the greatest hits: The Ray Rice beating his then-fiancee unconscious, Wes Welker getting suspended for taking Molly cut with amphetamines at the Kentucky Derby, the entire Michael Sam saga that just landed him with the Dallas Cowboys and Don Van Natta, Jr’s excellent article on Jerry Jones. There’s also a preview of this week’s action. If you like football and you like bad words, this is the show for you.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher app.