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Martavis Bryant Wants Out, Marshawn Lynch Watches From The Stands

Shredder cosplay, son.

Steve Marden of the Foolish Things podcast joins the show to talk the top NFL stories of the week. Namely, Martavis Bryant wants out of Pittsburgh badly, Marshawn Lynch gets ejected only to watch the game from the stands, Robert Mathis is arrested for DUI despite being under the legal limit and is John Fox a secret offensive wizard among others.

And don’t forget to give all of this episode’s cast a Twitter follow:

John Papageorgiou – @PapasBasement

Brian Bolte – @ChokeOnRitalin

Travis Dorward – @TravisDorward

Steve Marden – @SteveMarden

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Daniel Kalwhite And Mitch Trubisky

Daniel Kalwhite, John Papageorgiou and Brian Bolte say hi to Travis’s mom.

The Papa’s Football Podcast bravely, fiercely and gorgeously struts into week six of the NFL season with special guest Daniel Kalwhite. We talk Mitch Trubisky’s Bears debut, Cam Newton getting in hot water for making a comment perceived by many to be sexist, Redskins wide receiver Terrelle Pryor claiming he was called something worse than a sexist remark in Kansas City, Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster getting caught doing coke on camera and Adrian Peterson getting his walking papers to the Arizona Cardinals. It’s so jam packed that we had to spend the entire episode talking about having sex with Travis’s mom.

And don’t forget to give all of this episode’s cast a Twitter follow:

John Papageorgiou – @PapasBasement

Brian Bolte – @ChokeOnRitalin

Travis Dorward – @TravisDorward

Daniel Kalwhite – @DannyBoy3030

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

A Resounding Cowboys Loss Delights The World

Ezekiel Elliott, moments before water is poured upon him at the end of his Flashdance routine.

The Denver Broncos dismantled the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday, rendering nearly all other NFL news this week moot. But, for those of us that realize that blue star is more sinister than the symbol for the Galactic Empire, hearing a week’s worth of news about Zeke shitting the bed, Dak’s limitations and Jason Garrett being a shitty play caller is pure magic.

But reveling in the fall of a foe isn’t all we have in store for you this week: We also discuss the horrid attendance problems for LA’s teams, the hilarious ways San Diego businesses are celebrating the failures of the now-departed Chargers, Marshawn Lynch ascending to national treasure and the Ravens’ horrible attempt to catalogue and clone the DNA of their fanbase.

And don’t forget to give all of this episode’s cast a Twitter follow:

John Papageorgiou – @PapasBasement

Brian Bolte – @ChokeOnRitalin

Travis Dorward – @TravisDorward

Sarah Roche – @Rochesaurus

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

One For You Dallas Cowboy Fans (Ugh) (Ft. Jay Sank)

Charles Haley, the only Dallas Cowboy worthy of respect and the Last Naked Warrior

For those of you that don’t know the origin of the term “The Last Naked Warrior,” click here and feast your eyes.

Guys, before I introduce the show, I want you to know that there are indeed new episodes of Papa’s Football Podcast being created. They’re getting uploaded to the main Papa’s Basement YouTube channel and *gasp* are video-centric in nature (meaning we didn’t just set up a webcam to record a podcast’s production). We will get the regular podcast uploads going soon, but I wanted to give you the heads-up to go there in the meantime for all new content.

I hate the Dallas Cowboys, but I love comedian Jay Sank. And he loves Dallas. So, much like a boyfriend taking his chick to see any number of godawful films, Brian Bolte and I let Jeff Cowboy up the show a little. This one was recorded during the offseason, so it’s more of a general reminiscence of the Cowboys’ glory years + a tentative hope that their 2016 wasn’t a fluke, but there’s enough in there for everyone to keep you happy. SO LISTEN AND SHARE DAMMIT.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Geno Bisconte Talks NFL Week 1 On Papa’s Football Podcast

I was making the same face as Geno for the majority of last night's Redskins game.

I was making the same face as Geno for the majority of last night’s Redskins game.

Geno Bisconte is an incredibly talented comedian who is also a football (and gambling) addict, making him a perfect match for Papa’s Football Podcast. He was kind enough to call in to the show and bemoan life as a San Diego Chargers fan (a jinxed mush of a team that managed to debut in mid-season disappointment form by pissing away a three-score lead over the Kansas City Chiefs in their season opener) and also give his take on the Philadelphia Eagles game, which he caught live. If you like sardonic humor and love a team that lives to shit on your heart like it was a girl in a German porno, then Geno is your man. Check out his weekly “Geno’s Picks” football segment at his site, GenoBisconte.com, and please say hello to him on Twitter (@GenoBisconte).

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Peyton Manning Kisses Papa John, Wins Super Bowl

I haven't been this skeeved out during a Super Bowl win since Mark Rypien celebrated his victory by tugging off Colonel Sanders.

I haven’t been this skeeved out during a Super Bowl win since Mark Rypien celebrated his victory by tugging off Colonel Sanders.

Super Bowl 50 is in the books, and shit, there was a lot to debate. Was it a bore or a defensive masterpiece? Should Peyton Manning retire or be a selfish asshole and not retire? Is Cam Newton the biggest target of white ire since OJ? Would you rather have watched your family get torn apart by wild dogs than sit through Coldplay’s halftime abortion? It’s a good show. If you watched the Super Bowl and know one shred about the game, you’ll have fun listening. If you don’t match any of that criteria, well, this is usually the part in the episode description where I call into question your sexuality, sense of national pride and/or intellectual capacity. Just click so we’re cool, man.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Aaron Rodgers Is The King Of The Hail Mary

aaron rodgers steve carell

Yes, they lost. But damn if the Green Bay Packers – Arizona Cardinals game wasn’t an all-time great. Listen to us talk the entire Divisional Round, pray that Peyton Manning doesn’t die next week, and have a conversation like you and your friends would about football. No, that doesn’t mean we get drunk and ramble like every other podcast out there. But we sure do swear a bunch.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Lovie Smith Fired, College Football Screws Up Its NYE Playoffs

Lovie Smith Fired

Just kidding, Lovie got fired a few hours after we recorded this. But we were able to talk about the bloodbath that is Black Monday, including the firings of Jim Tomsula, Tom Coughlin and Mike Pettine. Between that, some (admittedly cursory, but hopefully humorous) playoff analysis, we have the NFL side of things covered.

The first half of the show actually dives into what a colossal fuckup college football had on its hands with an attempt to shoehorn its two playoff games into New Year’s Eve. Ratings stank, everyone hated it, and now everyone is hoping that it doesn’t happen again. Oh, and I mock the millions of bowls because, let’s admit it, there are about 50 too man and they all have ghoulishly commercial names that impart literally zero emotion upon anyone. (Please let’s just cut to the chase and get to the Bang Bros Bowl sooner than later.)

Did I mention we saved the best for last? Because we did. In the show’s last five minutes, two straight (I swear all those websites were from someone else using my computer) men and one straight woman pick which NFL player’s penis they would be most fascinated to see. Fuck ESPN, you won’t see that shit after MNF anytime soon.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Peyton Manning HGH / Chip Kelly Fired

Chip Kelly, onetime Oregon coach and full-time Auric Goldfinger lookalike, has been fired by the Philadelphia Eagles.

Chip Kelly, onetime Oregon coach and full-time Auric Goldfinger lookalike, has been fired by the Philadelphia Eagles.

Chip Kelly, former Oregon Ducks coach, is now the former Philadelphia Eagles coach, relieved of his duties by owner Jeff Lurie right before week 16 in what can only be seen as a massive fuck you move. Is this good news or bad news for the rest of the NFC East (a division owned, at least for the year, by YOUR Washington Redskins)?

Also, Peyton Manning, the famed backup quarterback of the Denver Broncos, was the biggest name in an Al Jazeera that alleges several players in the NFL were using HGH. Al Jazeera seems to have quickly recanted, but when you get right down to it, what the hell else explains that forehead? I love Peyton Effin’ Manning until the end and, frankly, don’t give two shits if he used or not, but someone owns us an explanation for that cranium.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!

Oh Peyton! My Peyton!

There is nothing more terrifying than this image which, of course, makes it an Internet darling.

There is nothing more terrifying than this image which, of course, makes it an Internet darling.

This episode was a bit of a no-time-for-love-Doctor-Jones affair, meaning we banged out three topics that were near and dear to my heart this week in the NFL:

–Whose disastrous season is more of a shock to you, the Baltimore Ravens’ or Peyton Manning’s?
–Sammy Watkins shitting all over people that shat on him. (Via social media. He wasn’t channeling his inner Danny Thomas. Sadly.)
–Why 9:30 am games are awesome for we East Coasters.

Click here to listen to this episode of Papa’s Football Podcast or hit the “play” button below. Click here to open us in iTunes, where you can subscribe to the show and leave us some rating and comment love, and click here if you want to do the same using the Stitcher ap!